The art of not knowing

// surrendering to the in-between

I have zero clue what lies ahead of me. I left behind the career I spent 6 years building without any secure plan for what comes next. & while I have 478 ideas of where I could go & what I could do…

I am soothing the urge to move forward. & instead, leaning into this season of uncertainty.

Because this moment in my life is not about where I am going — but who I am becoming.

& I won’t lie to you. I’ve resisted it. I’ve wished this season away. I’ve begged God to just make it all clear. To just show me the way. Give me an easy road to walk down. With flashing green lights & billboards & signs letting me know I am going in the right direction.

I spent a lot of time angry that my prayers were going unanswered. I was looking everywhere, waiting for the big juicy moment that everything clicked & I could start the next journey, the next career, & punch my next ticket to success.

But over the last few weeks, I became too exhausted to keep looking. So, I stopped fighting. I stopped resisting. & I surrendered the need to know.

I decided “if this is where I am, maybe it is where I am meant to be.”

& that decision showed me that even though I do not know my destination, the path ahead of me is clear. I am getting the signs (& have been all along). The lights are green (I was just looking the wrong way). & while there may not be billboards telling me how much father I have to go — they are constant reminders to be where I am.

Learning & unlearning.
Breaking & rebuilding.
Sifting & sorting.
Being & becoming.

Xx, Emma